Recently, as part of my own continuous learning journey, I read a guide on courting girls by Tiffany Taylor. Titled Guy Gets Girl, what attracted me to invest in this guide was that this is the first and possibly only dating and courtship guide written by a woman for men; I simply couldn’t resist the opportunity to understand and learn how to court a girl from a girl’s perspective.
And because I have never before read a courtship and dating guide written by a woman, I personally found Tiffany’s work to be very refreshing and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. For those who have not read her guide yet, I thought I make a post on one topic that caught my attention – How to Touch a Girl.
According to Tiffany, touching is an essential part of courting a girl; without it, any encounter with a girl will not go beyond platonic.
To have any chance of hitting off with a girl, there must be at least a certain amount of touching going on both ways. Be it you placing your arms around her, she putting her head on your shoulders flirtatiously, physical closeness must be established before any form of courtship can take place. And often that’s where the problem lies – how to touch a girl without scaring her off or making her feel you are too touchy?
From observation, I realise that there are those who will just simply initiate contact, often without care or concern for how the woman feels. Often instead of achieving physical closeness, they end up scaring away their target. Yet others may decide to play it safe, refraining from any form of physical contact with the girl till they are sure it is safe to do so. Unfortunately too, they end up sending the wrong signal; that they are either too shy or timid or that they are simply disinterested. Either way, when it comes to courting a girl, it is a lose-lose situation because you are unlikely to leave a good impression or score well in her books.
So given the importance of being able to establish physical contact in a way that girls will accept, how do we go about doing it?
First and foremost, we need to understand a girl’s personal space and learn to respect it. That would mean understanding where and when it is appropriate and permissible to touch and where and when it is not. Knowing this, through appropriate casual touching as you are talking to her, you will be able to project confidence and character, both of which will put you in good light in her eyes. Girls as you know, like confident guys with great character.
Where and When to Touch During the Initial Courtship Ritual?
1. The outer right arm is a great place to casually touch as you are talking to a girl, even if it’s only your first meeting. And the key here is to casually touch as you are making a point in a conversation (e.g. to get your point across) and the touch must seem like a natural extension of the conversation. This way, because the outer arm is not an intimate area, your touch will not put her on a defensive, but rather leave her with a good impression of you.
2. As your conversation progresses, you will need to keep the touching going and perhaps even progress to touching more personal areas like her hands, shoulder or waist. Unfortunately, if you jump straight into it too soon, you are likely to scare her away rather than attract her to you. Here’s where “Stealth Tactility” as Tiffany coins it, comes in. “Stealth Tactility” is simply disguised touching. For example, when pointing out the directions to her, you can point out the direction with one hand and casually put your arms around her waist with the other as you guide her to the direction you are pointing to. Because there is a reason for the touch, she is unlikely to feel uncomfortable. Instead she will feel your touch and subconsciously associate good feeling towards you.
3. Lastly, if the conversation went really well, there is bonding and chemistry, you exchange numbers and plan to meet for a date another day, closing the encounter with a hug or a light kiss on the cheek may even be appropriate. It seals the encounter and gives her a reason to remember you.
Who is Tiffany Taylor?
Tiffany Taylor is the author of the courtship and dating guide, Guy Gets Girl, the first guide on How to Court a Girl, written by a female. Being a girl herself, Tiffany naturally understands how the female mind works and more importantly how to use this knowledge to court the girl of your dreams. If you want to know more about her works or improve your skills in courting girls, simply visit her website – guygetsgirl.com.